Potato Battery

penis-hilton:

EVERYTIME I SEE THIS POST I’M AFRAID TO SCROLL TO THE END OF IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS THINK BETTY WHITE HAS DIED

nyehridan-artpora:

lalulutres:

worried that squirrels were eating all the birdseed, so we set up a camera

i do not think that is a squirrel

nyehridan-artpora:

lalulutres:

worried that squirrels were eating all the birdseed, so we set up a camera

i do not think that is a squirrel

wnderlst:

Cochem, Germany | Ryan Wyckoff

wnderlst:

Cochem, Germany | Ryan Wyckoff
resurgance:

I got my red dress on tonightDancing in the dark in the pale moonlightDone my hair up real big beauty queen style

resurgance:

I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big beauty queen style

deucebowl:

a fancy asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai”

bumsaregreat:

lsdzeppelin:

basedpidgeot:

Good Thing of the Day:

A woman tells her dad he’s going to be a granddad.

0:24 i wanna cry 

AWW OMG

image

this is beautiful 

New favourite joke:

juliuscaesarofficial:

agathaheterodyne:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”

"Don’t you mean a martini?”

"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."

these are the best jokes ever

boots-n-cats:


my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 

Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

queenofdorite:

SCIENCE IS MY NERF DART LAUNCHER, INTELLECT IS MY BUTTERKNIFE

queenofdorite:

SCIENCE IS MY NERF DART LAUNCHER, INTELLECT IS MY BUTTERKNIFE

pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

versatilequeen:

moriiahh:

Harold likes to help me with my homework. And yes that is a diaper we made to make sure he doesn’t pee everywhere when we let him roam the house..don’t judge.

TORTOISE IN A DIAPER.

Me being me

Me being me